Grief is a very intimate and personal experience that everyone has experienced at one time. You can grieve the loss of a loved one, a significant change in your life, or any other form of loss, but knowing how to go through it can help you heal. The 5 stages of grief, originally proposed by a psychiatrist, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, provide a model that can be used to make sense of the mixed feelings that accompany loss.

Understanding the 5 Stages of Grief

Grief isn’t a straight path. You may go through the stages in a different sequence, omit some, or repeat some. There is no correct and incorrect way to mourn.

Key points:

• Grief is not linear
• You can switch between stages.
• There’s no set timeline
• Your experience is unique
• All feelings are valid
• Grief expression may be influenced by cultural background.

The phases provide the words to explain your feelings, the confidence that your responses are not unusual, and the hope that you can recover.

Stage One – Denial and Disbelief

Denial is used to soften the first loss shock. It is how your mind shields you against emotional overload.

Common experiences:

• Feeling numb or frozen
• Believing that this is not possible
• Avoiding the memory of the loss
• Difficulty concentrating
• Overwhelming fear

You may do the dance, be busy, or act as though things were alright. It is the period to adapt, and you may remain too long, which will prevent progress.

Stage Two – Anger and Frustration

Denial is replaced by reality–and anger usually succeeds it. It is a natural reaction to the suffering of loss.

How anger shows up:

• Irritation with others
• Hostility or blame
• Anxiety and restlessness
• Bitterness against individuals who have not lost 

You may be angry with the dead person, with yourself, with doctors or even with the universe. Anger may be fierce, but it is a good sign you are beginning to feel once more.

Healthy ways to express anger:

• Exercise
• Journaling
• Conversation with a trusted person
• Creative expressions such as music or art

Anger is less difficult to deal with than sadness, yet it is important to deal with it to heal.

Stage Three – Bargaining and Struggle

Bargaining is the effort of the mind to take back the control. You can reenact things, negotiate in your mind, or seek meaning.

Common thoughts:

• “If only I had done something differently”
• “What if we had acted sooner?”
• Guilt and self-blame
• Seeking signs or spiritual guidance

This phase gives you a moment of temporary hope and assists you in coming to terms with what has occurred. But it may also postpone acceptance.

Moving forward:

• Know that guilt is often misplaced
• Learn to accept that there are things you cannot control
• Share your thoughts with someone supportive
• Practice self-compassion

Healing definitely involves bargaining, although it might hurt. 

Stage Four – Depression and Overwhelm

This is a very sad phase because you come to the realization of the reality of your loss. It does not have to be clinical depression, but a normal aspect of grieving.

Signs of grief-related depression:

• Emotional and physical tiredness
• Withdrawing from others
• Feeling empty or numb
• Little interest in daily activities
• Crying unexpectedly

You might even think that you will never live a normal life again. Yet this is the point of emotional healing.

Coping strategies:

• Let yourself feel without judgment
• Maintain basic self-care
• Accept help from others
• Take professional support into account
• Be patient with your process

It is not a weakness; this stage is your heart admitting how deep your loss is.

Stage Five – Acceptance and Healing

Acceptance doesn’t mean forgetting or “getting over” your loss. It means learning to co-exist with it and finding ways to move on.

What acceptance looks like:

• Exploring new options
• Inventing new habits that suit your new reality
• Re-engaging with life
• Finding joy without guilt
• Helping others who are grieving

You may also be sad sometimes, particularly during anniversaries or holidays. But as long as you view sorrow not as the story of your life but only a part of it, the healing journey will continue.

Growth through acceptance:

• More empathy and compassion
• Resilience and inner strength 
• Refocusing priorities
• Discovering new meaning and purpose

Acceptance is about living fully, even while carrying your loss.

Navigating Grief With Compassion and Support

Grief is not to be cured – it is to be experienced. It is a long process to heal, and it is not a bad idea to seek assistance.

Tips for your journey:

• Be patient with yourself
• Honor your emotions
• Never compare your sorrow/grief with others
• Take care of your body
• Stay connected to loved ones
• Talk to an expert where there’s a need to

When to seek help:

• Grief disrupts daily life for a long time
• You feel stuck in one stage
• You’re using substances to cope
• You’re isolating or having thoughts of self-harm

Support is a virtue, not a vice.

Finding Support for Grief at Los Angeles Mental Health

You do not need to face grief alone. We are Los Angeles Mental Health, and we provide you with caring services to get through the loss and start healing.

Our services include:

• Individual therapy
• Grief counseling
• Coping strategies for difficult emotions
• Support groups
• Family counseling
• Crisis support

Why choose us:

• Experienced professionals
• Evidence-based approaches
• Safe, non-judgmental environment
• Flexible treatment options
• Support through every stage of grief

Take the first step toward healing. Visit Los Angeles Mental Health to learn more.

FAQs

How can denial and disbelief impact the grieving process, and what are effective ways to cope with these emotions?

Denial protects you from emotional overload after a loss. While helpful at first, staying in denial too long can block healing. Coping strategies include talking with someone you trust, gently facing reality, and practicing self-compassion.

What role does bargaining and struggle play in dealing with grief, and how can one move through these stages?

Bargaining helps you process the loss by exploring “what if” scenarios. It’s a way to regain control. Moving forward means recognizing guilt, accepting what can’t be changed, and shifting focus to the present.

In what ways do overwhelming feelings of helplessness and depression manifest during grief, and what strategies can help mitigate these emotions?

Grief-related depression can feel like deep sadness, exhaustion, and isolation. Coping strategies include maintaining routines, accepting support, gentle exercise, and seeking professional help if needed.

How can acceptance and exploring options lead to personal growth after a significant loss?

Acceptance allows you to integrate the loss into your life and find new meaning. Exploring options helps you rediscover purpose, build resilience, and live authentically – even while carrying grief.

Why is it important to address hostility and the fight-or-flight response when processing grief, and what techniques can help manage these reactions?

Unprocessed anger can damage relationships and stall healing. Managing these reactions through exercise, journaling, creative outlets, and therapy helps release tension and uncover the vulnerability beneath the anger.